All or nothing
by DHK
Summary: One shot. Set after 11x17. Sam confronts Dean. Interesting things happen. *Spoiler for 11x17*
Warnings: Spoilers for 11x17. Wincest. No beta.

It was all a bit too much for Dean to take. Sitting in his room at the bunker, his

mind wandered back to the image of seeing Sam dead on the floor of the cabin a

few days before. He closed his eyes tightly as if squeezing the life out of them

would wash that moment away from his memory.

It was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Seeing Sam dead and leaving his body

behind. Going to hell? That was a piece of cake. Purgatory? He'd survive, no

problem. Becoming a demon and losing his ability to differentiate between right

and wrong? He'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant Sam could live.

Sam. Sam. Sammy.

He had overdosed on pills so he could die to meet the reaper.

He had offered himself up to Billie for Sam.

And he wouldn't change a damn thing if he had to do it again.

Dean opened his eyes and sat up with a jolt as he saw Sam scrutinizing him from

the door.

"Hey!" Sam called out.

"Geez Sammy! You want to give me a heart attack?!" Dean said, his heart in his

throat.

"Just wanted to ask if you needed something. Going out to replenish some

supplies," Sam replied, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Hey hey hey. You aren't a hundred percent yet. What do we need? I'll go get it,"

Dean said as he rushed out of his room.

"Dean, stop!" Sam called out.

"Yeah?" Dean asked as he looked back towards Sam.

"What's wrong, Dean?" Sam asked, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration.

"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong, Sammy. Everything's fine and dandy!"

Dean replied, a smile playing upon his lips but his eyes were furtive.

"Yeah, sure." Sam replied. "And that's why you've been avoiding me for days," he

continued, pain filling his voice.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Sammy." Dean said and turned back to

walk out the bunker door.

"You think I don't know?" Sam said. "About what you did when you thought I was

dead?" he continued, his voice cracking.

Dean stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around and looked at Sam.

"What? Who told you?" he asked, panic filling his whole body.

"Michelle called. To check how you were doing since you had taken a whole

bunch of pills to meet the 'death machine'. I mean, what were you thinking

Dean?!" Sam shouted.

"Don't get angry at me, man. I did what I had to. To protect my brother." Dean

whispered, his eyes downcast as he wilted under the intense stare coming from

his brother.

"And that is the problem, Dean!" Sam said, his voice going octaves higher than he

had intended. "You would do anything to save me. And I would do anything to

save you!" he continued, frustration evident on his face.

Dean kept quiet. He had no answer because he knew that Sam was right.

"When does it stop, Dean?" Sam shouted.

Dean looked squarely at Sammy's face and with a determined voice said, "It

doesn't. If something happens to you, I'll be there to stop it. Deal with it."

Sam huffed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Don't you see what this is? We are so dependent on each other that just the

thought of losing one another immobilizes us!" he cried.

"What do you want me to do, Sam? Let you die the next time?" Dean shouted.

"Yes!" Sam replied, his voice incredulous. "Let me die and don't put yourself in

harm's way!" he said.

"And would you do the same if I died?" Dean countered.

Sam kept quiet and looked away.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Nice having this conversation, Sam" Dean said and

he started back towards the door.

"It's different," Sam said quietly.

Dean turned. "What did you say?" he asked.

Sam sighed and said, "It's different. If you died, heck yeah I would go through any

trial and to hell if that would bring you back."

"And that's different how?!" Dean said sharply.

Sam looked away. "Because… I need you to be alive even if I'm not. I need you to

be safe even if I'm not here for you. I need you to live… because I… I love… you."

he replied haltingly.

Dean's heart skipped a beat but he didn't let his uncertainty show.

"I love you too Sam. You're my brother and I'd do anything for you." he said.

"You don't understand!" Sam said, clearly frustrated.

"I love you but not only as my brother." he continued.

"I don't know what to callit, Dean. But I've felt it since we were teens.

I've always felt we belong together. Not in a brotherly way but something more than that.

Something pure. We're soulmates, Dean. I know you feel it too. You've got to…" Sam pleaded.

Dean held his breath. He had always suspected that what he felt for Sam was

something more than brotherly love but hearing Sam say it only made it worse.

How could he have fucked up this bad? How much of a freak was he that

somehow his deepest darkest desires got implanted onto Sammy?

"Don't know what you're talking about," Dean muttered to himself and started to

walk away.

Sam grabbed his shirt and slammed him against the wall.

"Don't you dare, Dean. Don't you dare walk away from me. I've bared my soul to

you and I won't have you ignoring this. Not when I know you feel the same

way about me too," Sam said, his voice low, soft and pleading.

They were both acutely aware of how close they were to each other and how

their breaths mingled, making them both feel heady.

"Sam…. Please," Dean whispered. "Please… I think… I think… you've got it…" _all_

 _wrong,_ he tried to say but his eyes kept flicking towards Sam's lips and back into

his eyes. 

"Fuck it," he heard Sam mutter under his breath and suddenly all he could feel

was Sam's lips on his and he parted his mouth instinctively.

Sam wasted no time and darted his tongue out, finding Dean's instantaneously.

Sam got bolder and cupped his hands around Dean's face as he pulled him closer

into the kiss, their tongues clashing in a fight for dominance.

Dean grabbed Sam's shoulders, his fingers curling around the nape of his neck.

They forgot how to breathe for a minute as they got lost in the feel of each other.

Dean broke the kiss first, his need for air momentarily overpowering the need

for his brother's lips.

They huffed harshly, foreheads touching as they took a moment to catch their

breaths.

"That was... interesting," Dean said in a low voice.

Sam looked up at Dean, ready for a punch or an onslaught of verbal barrage but

instead saw his brother smiling, eyes twinkling playfully.

"You're… ok?" Sam sputtered. "You don't think that was…" he started but Dean

interrupted him.

"Wrong?" Dean said. "Heck no! Took you long enough to figure it out, college-

boy," he continued.

Sam smiled. He hadn't heard Dean call him that in… forever.

"Then you won't mind if I do this," Sam said as he leaned down to catch Dean's

lower lip in his teeth.

He felt Dean smile into the kiss and suddenly, everything else that had plagued

them seemed so far away.

Suddenly, everything just seemed right.


End file.
